I think I blew it. Billy came into town monday for interviews at Lynchburg College. i met him at the hotel and we went to lunch.  tehn we went to see one of his buddies (that wasnt at his dojo). Then i gave him the "tour" of the city and eventually going thru the LC campus.  I think he had a good time, but i still think i blew it.    for some reason, i was quiet. i am always quiet, but with him, im usually not. he is one of my best friends, and granted he was so excited and talked alot, but i dont think i acted like myself.  i know that he doesn't like me the way i wish'd he did. i would date him in a heartbeat - no questions asked.  I was hopin we would hang out after the meetings friday night but he didnt call me.

He said he was on spring break this week and he guesses he will go back to ferrum cuz he has nothing else to do. Is this a hint?  He knows i still live at home, and it would be awkward if he stayed here. Who Billy is and what Billy does is nothing what my parents thinks he does!!!  He leaves today (Tuesday), should i try and see if he wants to stay here in the family room? I dont want to put him in the weird situation, but i just dont want him to leave yet. Granted, lynchburg isnt necessarily a happening place, there are some fun things to do if u look hard enough!!!!!!   I have never had a boyfriend, and i dont want to ruin the friendship. Maybe i am looking too deeply into it. If he doesnt want to stay, he dont have to.

Decisioin: I will call the hotel and see if he has checked out. Then, I will c if he wants to either do something tonite or stay the night.

This past week was awful....here's a look back at what happend.....

Monday - I was teaching, part of my tooth broke, and I had to schedule a Dentist appt.

Tuesday - gunman on Ferrum's campus - really upset me.

Wednesday - mom had her surgery, went longer than expected, they took out more than they had originally planned.

Thursday - stay home with mom, taught my asl class

Friday - failed my Praxis test for the 13th time - beginning to give up on prayer, cuz i just havent seen it work.

Saturday - ehh

I am so glad this week is over, but i dread starting next week with a visit to the dentist.

I think it is interesting how our mind works. We all have memories of all kinds of stuff - both good and bad. For example, someone walks by with a familiar cologne, i immediately think of someone i kno that always wore it. Or if i think of a song, then it'll remind me of somthin that was happening when i first heard that song.
Last night was a good night, even if it was spent alone - as usual.
I put on my heating blanket.  As soon as i got into my warm bed, i immediately thought of one particular night at Ferrum. I always turn it on before i get in bed so that itll be nice and warm. This night at FC i went to bed at 12:30 (same as last night) and i woke up at 2:30 with someone knockin on my door.  It was shawn, courtney and billy. I never get visitors so i was excited, once i realized it was MY door.
Anyway, none of them were sober.....................................................
Things happened (get ur mind out of the gutter, not like that).......................
I wandered up to Court's room.................................
Billy later left................
................
I woke up in Court's bed beside shawn  bout 5...............................................
I wandered back to my bed.....

Ferrum was the best thing that happened to me - no regrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I live for the nights I cant remember with the friends I'll never forget"